So I will have to start this post by saying that I had originally intended this blog to be about my hobby. My Etsy shop and the Jewelry and crafts I make.A way to get my self out there.
Well I must apologize as this topic will not be about my work my shop or anything like that. Last night upon returning home from work I found my son sitting at the dinning room table looking very solemn. My mother who is kind enough to come to my house and get him off the bus as I work until 4:30 also sat at the table a grave look on her face as well. Now normally when I come in the door I am greeted with hugs from my beautiful little boy Xzavior, slobbery kisses from my loving dog Charlie and my 2 fur ball cats. So as you can imagine the scene that I walked into caused some alarm. I immediately asked what was wrong. My son looked at me with tears in his eyes and said " mommy I was very bad". My mother then preceded to tell me that my little 5 year old son attempted to get off the bus about 5 miles from my home at another stop. Thankfully it was his normal bus driver so she did indeed recognize him instructing him to stay on the bus. She then alerted my mother to his attempt when she got him off the bus. Had this been a substitute driver that had not known my son he probably would have easily gotten off without a thought from the driver.
Now as I already mentioned we are talking a good five miles from home. To give you a little background. The street he wanted to get off at is a 50MPH street. Also it is in a very rural area.
I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. My mind raced with fear. The possibilities of what could have happened to my small child played out over and over again. It might not seem like much to some as he did make it home okay. I couldn't stop thinking what if. I spoke a moment with my mother before she left to return to her job about what to do. Do I punish him do I not?
I can't say that I was mad at him in the slightest. I was not. just scared to death. I spoke with Xzavior at length about how dangerous what he tried to do was. How he could have been taken, hurt killed lost. How we might have lost him forever. I asked him why. He told me he just wanted to walk home. Though he admitted he didn't know the way. I believe I got through to him. he was upset and I think he could feel how scared and upset I was. He is such a great kid. Very sensitive.Very loving. Very trusting. I kept wondering did someone bully him, did someone ask him to come over and play, dare him. He kept saying No mommy I just wanted to walk.There have not been many instances at all where I have had to punish my child. Usually if I do taking away his bedtime story for the night suffices. He loves his reading time with us. I didn't think that would be enough to get through to him this time. So I sucked it up and I grounded him today. No playtime after school. Straight to bed no story after super. He was so upset. So was I.
Did I do the right thing? I just want him to remember not to do that ever again.
So I sat at work all day today my stomach in knots wondering would he stay on the bus. What if its not his bus driver. I did stick to his grounding today. Again I ask you was it to harsh of me?
I'm sure I will have bigger scares in my life as a parent as he grows.