Friday, October 1, 2010

A close call. Is this parental karma?

So I will have to start this post by saying that I had originally intended this blog to be about my hobby. My Etsy shop and the Jewelry and crafts I make.A way to get my self out there.

  Well I must apologize as this topic will not be about my work my shop or anything like that. Last night upon returning home from work I found my son sitting at the dinning room table looking very solemn. My mother who is kind enough to come to my house and get him off the bus as I work until 4:30 also sat at the table a grave look on her face as well. Now normally when I come in the door I am greeted with hugs from my beautiful little boy Xzavior, slobbery kisses from my loving dog Charlie and my 2 fur ball cats. So as you can imagine the scene that I walked into caused some alarm. I immediately asked what was wrong. My son looked at me with tears in his eyes and said " mommy I was very bad". My mother then preceded to tell me that my little 5 year old son attempted to get off the bus about 5 miles from my home at another stop. Thankfully it was his normal bus driver so she did indeed recognize him instructing him to stay on the bus. She then alerted my mother to his attempt when she got him off the bus. Had this been a substitute driver that had not known my son he probably would have easily gotten off without a thought from the driver.

 Now as I already mentioned we are talking a good five miles from home. To give you a little background. The street he wanted to get off at is a 50MPH street. Also it is in a very rural area.
  I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. My mind raced with fear. The possibilities of what could have happened to my small child played out over and over again. It might not seem like much to some as he did make it home okay. I couldn't stop thinking what if. I spoke a moment with my mother before she left to return to her job about what to do. Do I punish him do I not?
 I can't say that I was mad at him in the slightest. I was not. just scared to death. I spoke with Xzavior at length about how dangerous what he tried to do was. How he could have been taken, hurt killed lost. How we might have lost him forever. I asked him why. He told me he just wanted to walk home. Though he admitted he didn't know the way. I believe I got through to him. he was upset and I think he could feel how scared and upset I was. He is such a great kid. Very sensitive.Very loving. Very trusting. I kept wondering did someone bully him, did someone ask him to come over and play, dare him. He kept saying No mommy I just wanted to walk.There have not been many instances at all where I have had to punish my child. Usually if I do taking away his bedtime story for the night suffices. He loves his reading time with us. I didn't think that would be enough to get through to him this time. So I sucked it up and I grounded him today. No playtime after school. Straight to bed no story after super. He was so upset. So was I.

 Did I do the right thing? I just want him to remember not to do that ever again.

So I sat at work all day today my stomach in knots wondering would he stay on the bus. What if its not his bus driver. I did stick to his grounding today. Again I ask you was it to harsh of me?

I'm sure I will have bigger scares in my life as a parent as he grows.
 I was reminded by my mother of a little girl age 6 that once conspired with her best friend Sarah to ditch the bus. These little girls walked home through the woods for hours playing and picking flowers. Both sets of parents panic stricken scared out of there minds. Cops and neighbors out everywhere searching for them. Nothing bad thankfully happened to these girls. Though so many things could have. Of course a child thinks not of these consequences. Of the fear the pain they cause there parents. I now as an adult understand the hell I must have put my mother through that night. Yes I was that little girl. So is this parental Karma? A little bit of payback? I say that lightly as I know that is not so.A joke to lighten the mood. It did give me a better understanding of the trials of parenting. They have been so easy up to this point. I am thankful to have such a beautiful child. I am thankful it was only a close call!!



  1. I would use this time during his grounding to continue talking to him about stranger danger and your expectations and such. Use this as a teachable moment rather than just a grounding. I'm sure his little brain just didn't have a clue about the dangers he might face. I don't think you overreacted at all. Just make sure that the grounding time is time well spent not just time served. You're a good mama!

  2. We have been.Just scarry You know. Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it :)

  3. I would have been scared, too. I find once my kids understand what could have happened (e.g. get lost), they're less likely to repeat it because then they share my fear. Not that it stops me from worrying about it :). Good luck!

  4. Thanks unplanned. Im gald nothing happened. I hate to scare him but I need him to understand the potential danger. Im sure there will be more scares for me as a parent as he grows. Part of the job. One I'll gladly take to be momma to my little angel!!

  5. We have to punish and instruct our children. The point is not to make them jump through hoops and simply learn correct behavior, but to reach their hearts and teach them to want to make good choices. It sounds like that's what you are doing with this punishment and talk. I think you did a great job even though it doesn't feel very good sometimes.

  6. I would have been scared as well. I don't think you were too harsh, he needs to know to that is was not the right thing to do and not safe. He knows that you love him and that he did something wrong, which is why you needed to punish him.
    As for the parenting karma, I have called several times to apologize to my mother for things I did as a child that my children now do. SO I understand that perfectly. as I have suffered the parental karma trap a few times.

  7. I would have freaked out!! Seriously! I worry so much about my kids...we all do because we love them. My son is almost 16 and so soon will be driving...makes me nervous. And my daughter is 13 and I am constantly worried when she is away...

    Thanks for stopping by Words of Me Project. So happy you'll be joining me on my Words journey. I would love for you to share your journey with us. Feel free to leave comments anytime...and if you want to talk about it on your blog...great! I do have a button being made so that will be available soon.